BDSM Sex Toy Help Line

How Can I Help Your BDSM Phone Sex Issue Today?

 A Whole New Support System-It Could Happen!

I was thinking how nice it might be if there were a BDSM sex toy help line out there, like the tech support we (I) always have to call because my laptop has issues (it conspires against me) for when snafus with sex toys occur.  As this Milf Mistress is terminally afflicted with both helacious creativity (mind monkeys-they bite) PLUS have had tons of recoup time on my hands recently, I imagined a scenario like this.

IT For BDSM Sex Toy Mishaps

IT: Hello, and thank you for calling BDSM Boners!

My name is Stroke Master, how can I assist you out of your sex toy fuck up today?

C:  Hi! Um… I was trying to do this violet wand thingy and… it’s not working.                       

IT: Did you turn it on?

C: Yeah! I’m not stupid you know!

IT: So it won’t turn on or…what exactly is it doing?

C: Nothing! That’s the problem!

IT: It’s plugged in?

C: Oh… wow…You must be really smart! Did you go to school? Of-course it’s plugged in, you idiot! What now, smart guy?

IT: (after a moment) You do know that it’s made to create sensation when there is a gap between the wand attachment and the body?

C:  Well why the hell didn’t you tell me the first time?! I’ve had this thing on my cock all damn night!

IT: I assumed you were more familiar with wands, sir. My apologies. Try moving it just a little away-…

C: (screams and crashing sounds)

IT: I’m so glad I could be of assistance to your BDSM sex toy needs, have a great evening!

From Your Milf Ms with the Most-est…

I dunno about you all out there, but I’d do it! Jus’ sayin’. What say you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

62 comments to BDSM Sex Toy Help Line

  • @ Forrest-

    Probably quite easily tamed for you…being that it is Me after all…well, different story! LOL

  • More ready for both of those implements than you can guess magnus! 😉

  • magnus

    Oooh, Ms Sloane, I can so see that. And I ummm…. really like that thought too. 😉 You’ll have that dragon in chains in no time. 🙂

  • I like you magnus, yup, I do 🙂

  • magnus

    🙂 The feeling is very much mutual, Ms Sloane.

    And I wasn’t even picturing your in the “girl armor sucks” variety, though that would be nice too. 😉

  • I shall be proclaimed in my loudest ringing voice,
    “The Dragon has been tamed!” Shall be…,see, not quite yet, but close! 😉

  • magnus

    OK, so the Dragon is twitching a little still. You need to cut its head off. Here’s use the really sharp sword… 😉

  • LOL catching isn’t it? 😉

  • Forrest Hicks

    Magnus is going at this all the wrong way you want to tame the dragon not kill it.
    There a three things to remember when dealing with a dragon,
    1 never ever look it directly into its eyes, it will take this as a direct challenge.
    2 never talk down to it, dragons are majestic beasts and prefer to be talked to as an equals.
    3 keep away from it’s treasure hoard, else you will be barbeque.
    this is the best way to tame a dragon.

  • Hi Forrest! 🙂
    Wow, thanks for clearing this up! 😉
    No wonder I had such a hard time!
    It’s treasured hoard happened to be the very thing I required though.
    Sure does explain my singe marks, in retrospect.
    Remind me to wallop magnus. LOL

  • Forrest Hicks

    Any time.

    Wow those are some nasty scorch marks, would you allow me to apply some cream.

  • mmm…thank you Forrest 🙂
    You’re too kind 🙂

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